Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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