He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
