Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
