I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
