Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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