After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
