how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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