I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
