walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
