like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
