Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
