and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
