ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
