he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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