So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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