Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
