He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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