you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
