i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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