i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize