is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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