I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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