the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
