At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
