She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
