Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
