I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
