You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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