Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize