The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
