Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we're making bets on your personal life
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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