i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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