i permit you to call me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
then he tried to convert me to islam
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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