Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
