rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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