i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
