areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
