would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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