Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
