I accidentally burped into my bong.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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