My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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