it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
