super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
