I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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