I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
