He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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