My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
