he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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