Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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