Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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