I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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