Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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