So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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