I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
