she was so not down for the gang bang
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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