She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i believe in u and ur pee
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize