I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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