the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
