she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
