He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
