I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize