I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I haven't been this sober since birth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize