i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
