I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
