You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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