i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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