My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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